I hear you. I was in the same boat you are in many years ago. The stress and separation seems to go on forever in some families. Gratefully, my husband’s first wife and I are best friends. We both did our individual healing work on our personal issues and after a while we were able to come together slowly, baby steps, and now our relationship is one that I treasure every day of my life.
To begin with, don’t take anything personally. Be a witness as often as you are able. Be neutral as much as you can. There is no power struggle unless the parties make up one and sometimes that is all part of the step-family dynamics.
Pray. This prayer has served me well with many stress filled relationships – Change me. Bless her/him/them. And then take it further when you can – Change me. Bless her/him/them with joy, serenity, peace, friendship, relaxation, integrity and any other specific blessings that would fit your family’s dynamics. Feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s have a conversation about any particulars that you’re challenged with. Hang in there. There truly is light in the tunnel….not just at the end of it.
Blessings of peace and wellness,