Wow. I’ve been there too. Of course if a relationship is toxic and harmful, then by all means feel free to back away. Those are not kind of relationships I’ll be talking about here. Those need professional or legal support. I am not a doctor, social worker, or attorney. Please seek guidance if you think you need professional support in one of these areas.
I grew up in an abusive, dysfunctional family as well. There were many times when my sisters and brothers were fearful as children, yet we grew up to count on each other and trust each other. Then one year, something happened, and the dynamics changed drastically! Trust was severed for almost a decade. Each of us handled those years in our own different ways.
Then our father passed away. There were many life changing, hard decisions to be made during that time. From my spirit, deep in my heart, I felt called to join one brother and agreed to clean our father’s old house. As he and I did that, baby step by baby step, we talked a little. We shared how we felt, and we shared our fears about the whole situation. Week after week, we’d clean and talk discarding old material items in his home as well as old emotional beliefs, fears and pain that we had been feeling growing up and in the most recent past.
We both agreed that we did not want this to continue forever and we wanted our relationship to be better than it was then. Over time, our willingness to be in a different conversation with each other, to be honest, to be vulnerable, and to know that maybe we could make a difference and find ways to come together and heal years, decades of pain.
Today our relationship is priceless! We adore one another, trust each other, know we are not perfect, and yet we are so excited to see each other and to talk on the phone.
I’d suggest if you’re feeling called to connect with one of your siblings, then to trust that inner guidance. Reach out gently to that person. Maybe with a letter, a phone call, a text, an email. Perhaps with a ‘thinking of you’ card, or an ‘I miss you’ card. Trust your intuition. Listen to the voice inside that loves you and you will discover ways to find ways to let that person know how you’re feeling and if he/she would be interested in seeing you too or speaking with you too. Don’t rush. This takes times and tenderness.
Also, pray or set intentions. See in your heart that whatever happens from here serves both of your greatest and highest good. This can be a sensitive, tender place to travel. I am here to support you. If you’d like more one-on-one support in this area, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Blessings of peace and wellness,