Well, here I am at my computer on the deck listening to the different birds’ chirping and chattering. On a branch in the nearby gum ball tree, I see a male and female cardinal (I call them Red birds) light, briefly twitch and turn, then fly away together. My thoughts immediately went to my dad. Before he passed away, he had my brother place a bird feeder right next to his window so he could watch the different birds come to eat. He especially loved to watch the cardinals. I’m not sure why. We never talked about that. I know he loved the color red though.
As I watch these two birds, I am reminded that it has been said that when one sees a cardinal, that’s a message from a loved one that has passed on. That’s a sweet thought and since Daddy and Momma came to mind when I saw them, I choose to think they’re saying “good morning” to me and they’re thinking of me too.
I wonder what the animal spirit message is from the cardinal so I’m going to my favorite animal spirit website to check it out. I love learning about the wisdom from these messengers of nature. According to the site I am referring to, the wisdom from the cardinal is
Understanding the power of the wind
Finding your soul song
Seems to fit doesn’t it? I saw a pair of cardinals…Momma and Daddy were married. They were parents to 6 children. The wind is blowing through these branches of green, lush leaves. The wind is carrying the sounds of nature all around me. Listening to the song of the birds is reminding me about finding my soul song as well.
A flood of memories are coming up as I remember growing up in the house with my family and the experiences of living on a southern farm plantation. There were good times and tough times. I am remembering playing under the house with the new born puppies, climbing the fig tree branches, playing ping-pong on the porch, and sliding through the muddy ditches after a hard rain.
There are other memories that are coming to mind that are not so pleasant. Looking back on the experiences of my youth, I see how they were paramount in guiding me to the work I am now doing in the world. Specifically, one of the most important is the lack of self-care pattern. Actually, as I think about it now, I don’t remember even hearing those words growing up. Because that was close to 60 years ago, I imagine that times were very,, very different than they are now in regard to putting yourself first.
I know my mom sure didn’t teach that to me. This is not a blog post to slam my parents at all. Quite the opposite. I am giving reverence to them and my life experiences with them as those experiences helped to shape and make the person I am today. I love and care for myself today more than I ever have in my entire life. I had to learn how.
I remember her always being last in what I now know as the ‘self-care territory’. She ate last, shopped for herself last, went to the doctor last, always took care of someone else, and so much more. How sad it is for me now to think of this. I wish my mom had been taught or had found out for herself about self-care. She died at the very young age of 54 from a malignant brain tumor and she was obese as well. I remember daddy ‘helping’ her find diets that she could go on. He’d buy books for days with this diet, that diet, recipes, and all the latest and greatest diet information. She’d start one for a few days or weeks and then become disinterested or hungry or both. I could see her trying. She really didn’t have loving and encouraging support though. We would even take walks down the road in front of our house. That was really awesome because we were rarely allowed to cross the cattle guard on our own. Now that I think about it, we could have even climbed up and down the levee in front of our house. Maybe we did a time or two.
Breaking limiting generational patterns and beliefs are part of the work that I love offering in the world. I am amazed how ingrained beliefs and patterns are when passed on through family lineages. I know that people can’t teach what they don’t know. It was true for my parents and it is true for me as a parent as well as my children who are parents.
I now know that patterns of lack of self-care can show up in more than the obvious places. The outer environment has a direct connection to your inner environment. Where does your lack of self-care show up? What does self-care mean to you?
Here are some of the places where this pattern can show up:
Physical: Upkeep and organization of your home, office, or vehicle, health and hygiene, physical appearance, old outdated and torn clothing
Emotional: Low self-esteem, depression, retail therapy
Mental: Limiting beliefs about what’s possible for you to have, stuck in “the story” of your life
Spiritual: No connection to your worth and value in the world, no meaning for your life
There are many, many more areas in life where low or lack of self-care appear. Generational patterns like this run deep. To find other not so obvious areas, journal or contemplate these questions:
- Where in my life do I feel shame?
- Do I find excuses for not having events in my home?
- When I am alone, what are my thoughts about myself? my life? my purpose?
- Am I embarrassed to have people come over to my home for visits or celebrations?
- What calls me out of bed in the morning? Do I know that my life is making a difference in someone else’s life?
- What does my circle of friends look like? Do I spend time with them on a regular basis? (not counting on the phone or online)
When you know better, you do better. It all begins with a decision to look and see what’s working in your life and what isn’t. Do you have the courage to BE THE ONE to break the generational patterns in your family lineage? Is this your calling? For some, it is a calling. for others, it is desperation. Either way, the end result is worth every step of the journey.
Now it’s your time!
I’d love to have a conversation with you about your generational patterns. Please reach out to me if you would like help and guidance along this path. It would be an honor and my pleasure to lead you from the inner chaos to the inner and outer calm. To schedule your one-on-one appointment with me today, go to http://lightenupallover.com/ and click the calendar icon on the right hand side. We’ll get started right away into the extraordinary life that has been waiting for you to arrive!!